Page 33 - James Caan - The Real Deal

3 · Breaking Free

My friends’ enthusiasm for my escape helped me turn a vague
idea into a concrete plan. I was as scared as I was excited, but the
problem was that, once I had told them I would do it, my pride
wouldn’t let me back out. Even though I doubt any of them
believed I would actually leave, for some reason I felt I couldn’t
change my mind. And although they egged me on, their encour-
agement was probably only offered because they didn’t really
believe I would do it.
I started making plans to leave, and the big question was where
I would live. I had absolutely no idea, but one of my friends said
that flats to rent were advertised in the Evening Standard.So I
picked up a copy and saw one advertised in Kensington, an area I
knew because there was a club on Kensington High Street that we
sometimes went to. Living in Kensington sounded exciting and
unbelievably glamorous, so I went to take a look at the flat.
It was pretty small – the kitchen was little more than a counter
with a Baby Belling camping stove on top, and the phone was a
payphone in the communal hallway – but the rent was only £11 a
week, which was less than I was earning from my Saturday job at
Mr Buyrite in Stratford shopping centre. I decided it would be my
new home. The landlord didn’t ask for references, just a month’s
deposit and a month’s rent in advance, so I handed over the money.
I got so caught up in the practicalities that I didn’t really stop
to think about what I was doing. I was sixteen, I had no
qualifications, only a Saturday job for money and I was about to
walk away from my family.
I talked to my eldest brother about it a lot, and he finally took
me seriously when I told him that I had paid the deposit on a flat.
He was shocked, because he realised that not only was I serious,
but that I was going to do it imminently. By now, most of my
brothers and sisters also knew what I was planning, and that
meant I wouldn’t be able to keep it from my parents for much
longer. My hand was being forced: it was time to tell my father.

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