Page 240 - James Caan - The Real Deal

The Real Deal

had booked him in for tests. If he had tests at 7.30 a.m., I figured
that they clearly weren’t expecting him to deteriorate overnight.
My phone rang at seven the next morning. It was my brother
Adam: Dad had taken a turn for the worse and I should get to the
hospital as soon as I could. I looked at Aisha: it was her fortieth
birthday, a day we had been looking forward to for so long, and
this was how it was starting. I wanted to make it better for her,
but I also had to get to the hospital as soon as I could.
‘Don’t worry about it,’ she said. ‘Your father is much more
important than a party.’
I threw on a tracksuit and the two of us jumped in the car. As
it was too early for the rush hour we made good progress and
within ten minutes or so we were speeding along the North
Circular heading for Whipps Cross hospital. We were about
halfway there when my phone rang again. It was still only 7.30
and I just knew it had to be bad news. I was in two minds as to
whether or not I should answer. But it might be vital. I answered.
It was Adam and there was something in the tone of his voice that
made me dread what I knew he was about to say: our father had
died.
I was in the fast lane and I remember the road in front of me
just blurring. It was as if something had imploded in my head and
I couldn’t see straight and I couldn’t think straight either: all I
knew was that my father was dead and I hadn’t been with him.
‘Pull over.’
I knew Aisha was right but I just couldn’t move my hands to
change gear.
‘Pull over, James!’
Something in her voice brought me to my senses and I pulled
into a lay-by. Before I could turn the engine off I had started
choking with tears and I could not stop them coming. I just sat
there sobbing. All I wanted was to get to the hospital as quickly
as possible, yet I didn’t feel able to move. I was in shock and I felt

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