Page 99 - James Caan - The Real Deal

9 · Open for Business

suddenly to be immersed in a culture I was a part of and yet distant
from, but I found the actual wedding really exciting.
For the first time, I was doing something permanent. Since the
age of sixteen, whether it had been a flat or a girlfriend or a job,
I had always seen myself in transit from A to B. All of a sudden I
was making this big statement, this solemn commitment, and it
made a big impression on me. Mentally, I changed when I got
married. I realised that I had to be a responsible adult, and the
remarkable thing was that I wanted to be that responsible person.
I was happy to say goodbye to the flippant past and I was ready
for the commitments and responsibilities of marriage. I also
couldn’t wait to become a father.
We’d been married for about three months when three bank
statements came through the post. I was opening the mail while
we were having breakfast, and Aisha must have seen the state-
ments over my shoulder.
‘What’s that for?’ she asked.
‘Oh, nothing much. I took a loan out.’
‘You didn’t tell me you had a loan.’
‘It’s not a big deal.’ I was hoping the matter would go away, but
Aisha wasn’t going to be satisfied without a proper answer.
‘What did you need the money for?’
I looked at her, not quite sure what I would say. I chose the
truth.
‘That thirty grand.’
Her face was a picture.
‘What did you say?’
I explained what I had done, and she couldn’t quite believe it.
‘You mean you didn’t have the money?’
I had to tell her that I didn’t. ‘What matters’, I said in my
defence, ‘is that I said I would back you and I did. I could have
borrowed from my dad, or somebody at work, I don’t know; all I
know is that I was supposed to come up with my share.’

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