Page 95 - James Caan - The Real Deal

8 · Aisha

She was clearly more significant than any girl I had dated before,
and I thought that – even though I was only twenty-one – I wanted
to spend the rest of my life with her: I just couldn’t imagine not
having her in my life.
When I was round at my parents my dad asked how things were
going with Aisha and I told him that I was very serious about her.
‘Do you want to marry her?’
‘One day, I think that’s exactly what I want.’
‘One day? Why not now?’
I told him that I felt I didn’t have much to offer. ‘I can’t afford
a house, and I can’t afford to give a family a good start. I think I
should have those things before I can ask her to marry me.’
My dad then said something that made perfect sense to me.
‘Why do you think it’s your responsibility to provide those things?
Marriage is about ‘‘we’’ not ‘‘I’’. Why don’t you get those things
together?’
He had met Aisha enough times by then to know she was never
going to be a typical housewife who would expect her husband to
provide for her. Marriage was a journey we could start out on
together, and as he spoke I could hear the penny drop. Rather than
leaving it for four or five years until I’d saved up, why didn’twe
get those things together?
I was due to go on holiday in a couple of days’ time, and my
dad suggested that while I was away I should think about it.
Getting married was a big step for a twenty-one-year-old, but the
more I thought about us starting out together as equals, the more
confident I felt about our future. Looking back, I can see just how
smart my father was: because Aisha and I have built everything
together we’ve always been a partnership of equals, and I think
that gave us the best possible chance of happiness right from the
start. By the end of the holiday I had decided that I would propose,
and one of the first things I did when I got home was drive over
to her house and ask her to marry me. She said yes.

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