Page 45 - James Caan - The Real Deal
P. 45
4 · Teenage Kicks
At the wedding, when people asked how I was doing I told them
how wonderful everything was, how I was making a good life for
myself, and I let them think I was enjoying a fabulous lifestyle. It
was important to me that no one knew things were just about OK.
When I saw my dad, I walked straight up to him in my new suit
and let him know I was fine, if not better than fine. By approaching
him I knew I was making a statement. If I had let him come to me,
it would have signalled that maybe things hadn’t worked out as
well as I was letting on.
After the wedding, there was a meal back at the family home in
Forest Gate but for some reason I wouldn’t eat my mum’s food.
‘Aren’t you hungry?’ she asked.
The truth was I was starving, but somehow eating her cooking
was like admitting defeat, that I wasn’t taking care of myself as
well as I claimed. I couldn’t give the impression that I needed
anything they had to offer, so I just watched them all eat even
though my mouth was watering!
I swear that all the way home I could still smell that food. By
the time I got to the flat I was kicking myself. I should have had
the meal, but it wasn’t just that I couldn’t admit that I needed
them. There was another reason why I should have eaten with
them: the more I said how everything was fine, the colder the
atmosphere became because it wasn’t what they wanted to hear.
Looking back, it was a clearly the wrong thing to have done. I had
three brothers and three sisters, and as a parent you wanted to
demonstrate to the rest of your kids that your errant son’s
behaviour was wrong. And there was I glamorising leaving home
at sixteen, making it out to be a cool thing, which it wasn’t. The
more I said how good things were, the harder it became for my
dad to be warm. If I’d said, ‘Actually, Dad, I’m really struggling
and I’ve not had a proper meal for months and I’m working seven
days a week,’ I think the whole atmosphere would have changed.
Seeing them again hadn’t repaired any of the damage.
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